Rebuilding the Wall- Thriving and not just Surviving

It’s a perfect time for some reflection because the house is completely quiet. The TV is off; no music playing; not even preaching in the background. Just me, my thoughts and God. I’ve recently been thinking a lot about women. God has really made us special. We have this ability to adapt to amazingly difficult situations and can thrive no matter where we are. As a little girl and a young lady, I often saw examples of women who just got on with it. Whatever the need was, she made a way. The family needed to eat, and have a roof over their heads? She did that. The children needed clothes for school or bus fare to school? She came up with that. Whatever the need was, she made it happen. Some had to fight tooth and nail to provide for themselves and their family. Some have had to do terrible things, to the point where they probably cannot look themselves in the mirror. Some of us could do with a good hug and just a little help. For these very reasons, we often sell ourselves short, but we are so special and a force to be reckoned with.

Women often walk around with battle scars. If we take a moment to sit down and talk, you’ll soon hear stories of failed relationships, financial burdens, illness, abuse of all kinds, and a general sense of worthlessness or a sense of ‘I’m really not much’. Even seemingly strong women battle with failures in one area or the other. We have one thing down and sorted while other parts of our lives are falling apart, whether it be issues with our children, parents, or our careers. So how do we do it? How do we pick up the pieces when everything is lost? How do we overcome in all areas of our lives and not just some? 

I’ve been reading the Book of Nehemiah and I didn’t get too far until I had to stop and think about it. Nehemiah 1:3 says, 'And they said to me, “The survivors who are left from the captivity in the province are there in great distress and reproach. The wall of Jerusalem is also broken down, and its gates are burned with fire.”’ The words, ‘survivor’ and ‘great distress and reproach’ stood there screaming at me. Here are a people, who have survived being thrown out of their homes and being robbed of their possessions and while they might have been over the moon about surviving, it soon became a ‘great distress and reproach’. We see a woman who has survived despite poverty and lack. Despite being dispossessed of her dignity and pride, she has managed to keep living. There are those of us, who have had to overcome great odds and we’re standing here today because we have survived. Take a moment and reflect a little. God has brought us through scandal, jealousy and strife. Some of us are here today by pure miracle. Praise God! We have survived. But, these very things that we’ve survived have left us in ‘great distress and reproach’. We mask it well and most of the times even our closest friends don’t know about the scars we carry. They keep us awake at night; they rear their ugly heads whenever we feel threatened or pushed in a corner. The survivors of Jerusalem must've felt the same way: having all the semblance of life but not living at all. 

What made the survivors even more vulnerable was the fact that the walls of the city were broken down as well. So, they didn’t even have a safe place to hide nor could they defend themselves from any attack. The city was plundered over the course of three king’s reign. Nebuchadnezzar attempted to control the kings and every king he tried to control revolted. In the end, Nebuchadnezzar knew that the only way he would win was to completely break down the temple, buildings, walls and he burnt down the city gate. He destroyed everything and left only the poor to work the land. Years later, Zerubbabel returned and rebuilt the temple (535-516). Sixty-one years later, Ezra returned with 1500 men to resume temple worship but that would take them a while as everything was just a mess. It was during this time that Nehemiah got news about the survivor’s plight. I believe that Nebuchadnezzar knew one thing: Things won’t change unless we rebuild those walls.

Now, if we can see ourselves in this city: We’ve been through a lot. A lot has happened, and a lot of time has passed. Satan and life has slowly and meticulously plundered our hearts and homes. Some of us have managed to rebuild the temple – the place of worship- but not much worshiping can happen until we start rebuilding the walls that protect our hearts. For some, picking up the pieces is just too hard. Whatever state we find ourselves the answer is the same, we need to start or keep building our wall. Proverbs 4:23 says, ‘Keep your heart with all diligence, For out of it spring the issues of life.’ It is a fact that how your heart fares effects how your life will go. We can also recognise that our failed attempts at rebuilding the walls, with a false sense of pride and accomplishment, false toughness and hardness, a false sense of confidence, has miserably failed to protect our hearts. We always seemed to get hurt any way. It will help to recognise that the wall’s purpose it to protect that place of worship. It is a good place to start thinking ‘What do I need to do to keep my relationship with God safe?’ It’s amazing how many things you’ll stop doing and how many things you’ll start doing when you think of it in that light. And, because all our struggles and scars are different, it is from that place of worship, that wisdom will come as far as what needs to be rebuilt and what needs to be discarded with the rubble.

Women are natural warriors. We are built to take on a lot more than we think. We somehow manage to take care of everyone. Some of us are forced to be both mom and dad. Some are forced to be the breadwinner and the cook. All the while remembering to do it with a touch of grace and femininity. With the modern women becoming more diverse in our roles and having gone through amazing challenges, we somehow have survived. 

We’ve survived miscarriages, death of loved one, health problems, having to put dreams on hold for whatever reason, broken hearts, broken relationships, broken bank accounts, lack of training, lack of assistance, lack of love and care, lack of physical intimacy, lack of tenderness. We have survived. We’re here! We’re standing albeit a bit broken. 

We still carry the name daughter, sister, friend, wife, mother, woman.

It is my earnest prayer for all of us, to live life to the full. To stop allowing brokenness and fears to prevent us from achieving everything God has planned for us. To be a success story in the true sense of the word. We can do this. Building is not easy and as we continue in this story we’ll see everything Nehemiah had to face while building the wall. But, one thing I know, we don’t have to do it alone. We have each other.

💖Always

Leazille

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Once again, thank you for allowing me to share my thoughts with you today.